The Tusked One
Today on Aboot Canada we have James Riot who thinks he can manage the Ministry of Kicking People’s Arses better than the current man, the legend, the abomination himself, The Tusked One. Well James, here’s what you’re up against! Do you really think you can outdo this titan, whose legacy will pass into Canadian folklore for all time? Well, I’d sure as heck like to see you try, eh?Just so you’re properly informed, this is a man who ordered a mloon strike on Hudson’s Bay because it looked too much like a boob. This is a man who uses his tusks to open cans of beer. This is a man whose mere glare causes polar bears to shit their rocks before the wrestling can start. This is a man whose nipples get hard enough on cold days that he can scratch the paint off your skidoo. Think carefully, James, before taking him on! –Duncan
