Ah yes, the Canadian donair! What a thing of majestic beauty! Come for the Timmies, stay for the donairs! There are so many people who have visited that would give anything to taste that sweet garlicky heaven one more time. Including Adam Black, eh? Apparently he remembers fondly the otherworldly savors and wants to know what is is about our donairs that sets them apart from anything else on the planet! Well here you go, brave traveler! Here’s the secret, and why it’s never been as good as this outside the Great White North! –Duncan
Far from mythical, the flatulent powers of Canadians are mythic! Heroic! Even superheroic! Unfortunately, the Olympic committee has thus far refused to allow any of our fartaletes to compete in sports where we can show off our rectal prowess. That’s why they aren’t showcased in front of the world for all to see, eh? We’ll just have to wait for smellovision to be invented and then hack all the satellites to show the hit Canadian movie “Higgins McTavish And His Iron Tush Part 3: The Fartenning.” Seriously, that one gassed out theaters all over the country! –Duncan
