James Riot is back with a question aboot the RCMP! How do we train those iconic symbols of the international image of Canada? Truth be told, the image is something we export to lure tourist dollars to our fair land; they don’t do any actual policing. Those selected for RCMP duty aren’t actually the best representatives of the Canadian people; they’re somewhat lacking in the brainal region, if you know what I mean. We make sure they get the look right by boiling them red and permanently styling their hair in case they lose their hats (a frequent occurrence). One they’re ready to be shown to the tourists they’re taken out of their closets and paraded around for the cameras. If they make a mistake they’re usually taken back and put down humanely, the poor buggers. –Duncan
Toronto certainly is a special place, but not everyone in Canada agrees it’s a good kind of special, eh? Some of us look at T’ranna and scratch our heads in bewilderment. Why, there was even one time that they tried to put a giant condom on their sky dick! Imagine! The reasons why are shrouded in mystery, but we all think it was something dirty involving the full moon. –Duncan
